Stuck in the Middle

Awkward moments

2012-02-13T01:22:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it's just awkward to ask your teacher / lecturer / prof / shi fu / master / sen sei how their lives are going and how they find their job and teaching us.

When THEY ask us, it's fine dandy. Infact it's quite expected from them.

Then you kinda feel bad for not asking in return right?

But it'll sound like you're cheating.
No one supposed to KNOW the secrets to their teacher's ways of teaching.

Sometimes it's just awkward to ask.

Romans 12:2

2012-02-10T11:07:00.001+08:00

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

---

And so the bible yet again proofs to be the best advice givers

2012-02-09T15:38:00.001+08:00

EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!

2012-02-07T23:07:00.001+08:00

Have i not already mentioned that i am an absolutely HORRIBLE SELFISH person?

People! I know that and you dont have to tell me. Because when you do, it breaks my heart even more.

TELLING me wouldnt solve a thing. It will just devastate me even more so.

"and who do you think you are? Running round leaving scars?"

Instead DO something about it. Ask. Ask me. Reach out to me. Ask me things like, "Is anything the matter? Is the situation making you feel uncomfortable?" and have an open mind when im answering instead of trying to STEER my mind to YOUR direction to make me see YOUR way. This then doesnt make ME the horrible person.

But i know i am. I appear ungrateful for so many things that happen to me and all the things my friends do for me. I may not SAY it, but i sure am utterly grateful. It doesnt necessarily come out from my mouth but i tend to portray it in OTHER different ways.

Just dont you judge my different ways and condemn me.

Dont.

Please.

Pet peeve #6

2012-02-07T22:28:00.001+08:00

People who stroll on a busy walkway and very conveniently block half the walkway, preventing OTHER commuters from actually walking.

Actually just slow walkers in general.

= a toast =

2012-02-07T22:26:00.001+08:00

To the 20th century.

You have ploughed through the realms of technology unimaginable for the past 18 centuries or so. And at such breathtaking speeds too.

From cranked up cars to F1 formula cars. From the the contraption Mr Bell invented to the contraption Mr Jobs dreamed. From salt to cans to refridgerators. From fire to microwaves. From silent movies to 4D movies.

You have seen through TWO wars.

Skoal.

Pet Peeve #11

2012-02-05T17:58:00.001+08:00

So like how does one go about an issue of an off-key singing friend?

*cue in instrumental expressionistic music and a catchy melody along the lines of Kimbra's Settle Down*

= promise =

2012-02-01T22:40:00.001+08:00

You will never call me when you get back.

I guess i dont even have your word.

How then, do i have a good friendship with you when all you do is treat me as an emergency call centre?

You say you'd like me to be accountable for you yet i am but a door mat for you to wipe your feet on whenever it's soiled.

Is that it? Am i your towel? Your door mat? Your THING to clean yourself whenever you NEED it?

I am greatly disappointed and very hurt.

What do i do?

Hallelujah

2012-01-31T22:07:00.001+08:00

Well, maybe there's a god above
But all I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

= Friends =

2012-01-31T20:55:00.001+08:00

A single friend to be by my side whenever

vs

A hundred friends whom frequently forget your very presence

= a little dream won't hurt =

2012-01-29T18:05:00.001+08:00

Should one day we have wings to fly,
I hope it takes us so much might
Oh what a way to lose the extra pounds.

Should one day we sprout wings to fly,
I'll be the first to take flight.
For the sky is limitless and the roads are forsaken.

Ah, but alas,
It is all but a dream.
Oh dang.

FML

2012-01-26T18:58:00.001+08:00

I always thought people who went "FML. I broke my nail" or "FML. My mom turned off the internet" were a bunch of spineless wimps. On one hand, there ARE legitamate acclamations of FML that truly are suckiest of times you had and that I agree your life really sucked then, "D'aaw, ju poor theeeng".

Well it wasnt until i lost yet another prized item i owned today. Previously, it was Kids Camp 2011 where i left my lovely army boots in the bus (of which they denied it's existance). Now after earning a mini fortune from CNY and tuition, i thought i'd go on a useful shopping spree: bag 1- running shoes ($68), bag 2 - stationary ($25), bag 3 - bath stuff and cough stuff ($14), Jessie J tix ($130).

When i got home, i couldnt find my stationary bag.

I know it's JUST stationary. But SERIOUSLY i effin spent 20 over dollars and half an hour there finding for the right pencils, erasers, correction pens and rulers to buy. And i have gone to FRIKKIN lose them all.

People, i am utterly disheartened.

I have yet to learn to care for my things lile prized possessions and yet not have any shallow materialistic thoughts over them, lest i lose them. >_> wth

Nobody

2011-12-26T23:26:00.001+08:00

Nobody wants to listen anymore

Nobody wants to listen to me anymore

Nobody ever did. Nobody ever will.

I was once like that.

These pains i yearn to vanquish. These pains vanquishable by a listening heart who'll help me.

Listen.

Listen.

Listen.

Im in a

2011-12-16T00:14:00.001+08:00

Happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place Happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place Happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place happy place

2011-12-09T00:29:00.001+08:00

I really must be a horrible person.

No one wants to do anything with me.

I might die and no one would notice
Because i'd die alone.

I'd highly die of my paranoia.

And no one would save me.
Because no one would notice.

2011-11-23T14:05:00.001+08:00

I just wanna see the world

Every inch of it

As the storms creep in through the distant skies of night

2011-10-26T23:33:00.001+08:00

Soothe ye thy soft rumblings of thunder

= They say =

2011-10-17T21:44:00.001+08:00

To forget about the bad times but to remember the good times. Thing is that i cant forgive myself enough to forget the bad times.

If all i remember are the good times, will i then, ever learn from the bad?

Please don't misjudge me. I am but the most misjudged person you'd ever met (unless all you do is judge then depending on how accurate your judgement is, i'll just be another one of your judged subjects).

Are you broken too?

= Seek ye first =

2011-10-10T22:40:00.001+08:00

I long for companionship but i daren't seek it for the fear of being rejected, dejected.

I long for a solid companionship that will never leave me as with all my heart and soul, will i NEVER leave him/her.

I will try my very best and i will fight to the very end to protect and love him/her. But use me not for i'm not a tool or an app. Love me as i love you and i promise your love will not go in vain. (Or beware)

= Anglophillia =

2011-10-09T22:43:00.001+08:00

The uncertainty of the people around me has plunged my being into a state of paranoia and depression. I have resorted to turning to an ex doctor Although many would see my choice to be unorthodox and unrealistic, it certainly helps me like how alcohol helps others. He (or she) is my temporary cure to my recent inhabitions.

He is none other than Mr Harry James Potter (or Ms Joanne K Rowling).

I've decided to distract my mind with something else - Someone else's problems. No one i know living around me can tell it better than Ms Rowling. And thus i take my temporary refuge in his problems of friendship and quest.

That is not all. Like icing, the day ended with a tv program filmed and produced in the UK. Yes, i'm such an anglophile. I dont give a beeswax on what idiots say about being treated as 2nd class because you're asian. I believe in karma and i believe in the 11th commandment. I refuse to live my life in fear and of other people's fear.

I want to live there. Well, only because of the magnificent scenery they can offer. Ok, fine. So the rest of Europe has that or better. Can i at least live there for a year? And without being judged for my choice? It's not an extraordinarily, out-of-this-world choice eh?

Let me be please?

=All Saints=

2010-11-02T15:53:00.002+08:00

1 November 2010

Are the prayers of the saints like sweet smelling incense,
Are the prayers of the saints like sweet smelling incense
To Your heart, to Your heart?

Let these prayers of the saints be sweet smelling incense,
Let these prayers of the saints be sweet smelling incense
To Your heart

Are the songs of the saints like sweet smelling incense,
Are the songs of the saints like sweet smelling incense
To Your heart, to Your heart?

Let these songs of the saints be sweet smelling incense,
Let these songs of the saints be sweet smelling incense
To Your heart.

=book keeping=

2010-10-27T08:07:00.002+08:00

Dearest Electronic Diary,

I have found my peace in the leisures in writing yet again. When i say writing, i really mean it literally. I' m afraid i may not have to use you ever again. Though, i think i'll post pictures of the camps and activities i get myself involved with =)

Yours Ever,
c.r.e.e.k.

=oow=

2010-09-08T00:58:00.002+08:00

I'M IN PAAAAAAAIIIIN PEOPLLLEEE!!!

aaaaaaaaaaaarr

why? cause St Peter and Paul's Amazing Race was so amazingly fun, I forgot about how i was gonna regret it the next day. oooowwww....

Pictures will hopefully be up soon! =D

= Tash =

2010-08-12T15:58:00.003+08:00

... is a fictional character found in CS Lewis' Chronicals of Narnia. He is an antagonist in the novels The Horse and His Boy and The Last Battle. He is the patron god of the ruling class of Calormen. At the end of the series, he appears as a terrible demon with a skeletal humanoid body, a vulture-like head and four taloned arms.

but the Tash i know is nothing like the above mentioned, very obviously. I just want to say that it's not easy forgetting you, in fact it's harder. whenever i read or watch the show it'll just remind me of you. what queer way people adopt when remembering things. (not that i will ever forget you) =D

=NARNIA=

2010-08-11T14:32:00.003+08:00

so, it took me 5 whole days to finish all of Narnia's chronicles. it wasnt easy you know. i was sleepy, the book was heavy, the writing was a bit confusing, and not too mention all too polite for my own good. For example:

"Secondly," said Caspian, "I want to know why you have permitted this abominable and unnatural traffic in slaves to grow up here, contrary to the anciant custom and usage of our dominions."

"Necessary, unavoidable," said his Sufficiency. "An essential part of the economic development of the islands, I assure you. Our present burst of prosperity depends on it."

and

For when they had crossed the sandy beach, they found all silent and empty as if it were an uninhabited land, but before them there were level lawns in which the grass was as smooth and short as it used to be in the grounds of a great English house where ten gardeners were kept.

i'm not saying that i dont understand what CS Lewis was trying to portray, it isn't shakespeare. i'm just well, complaining about how not JK Rowling his writing style is. i must say that his story plot is very good indeed. i'm about to spoil it and tell you everything, still, i do wish he wasn't so.... er, old fashioned? HAHAHAH! (duh! what more can you expect from a guy born the late 19th century and grew up in the beginning of the 20th? )

No matter, i still wish i had that wardrobe though, or the pair of rings. then i can be whisked away into Narnia and have adventures just like the Pevensies or the other 2 children. Creatures from beyond, mountians, forests, talking animals, ASLAN, castles, sword fighting, bravery, witches... But that aside, WHATTABOUT TOILET!!!! heh heh, worrying. Utterly worrying doncha think? xD

It has been said that people turn to christianity after reading this book. No surprises there. Narnia doesn't exactly have the exact elements of anything Godly or Jesusly. It's the jist of faith and how Aslan seems to be everwhere (btw, a lil spoiler if you havent read all the books yet, Aslan is practically the creator of Narnia... he breathed [or sang] live into the world).

=long time=

2010-08-03T13:57:00.002+08:00

it's been 5 yrs since i saw her. and it was absolutely heart warming. she was so cheery and we kept laughing and talking and talking. how i missed her laughter. and it was touching to hear her intiating the sharing and talking. my cheekbones are a bit sore from all the laughing, oh my!

well, SHE is none other than SHAM =)

= ting! =

2010-08-03T13:26:00.002+08:00

HAHAHHAH!! THAT'S YOU BEL! HAHHAHhahhahhahah! *cough* =D

so i have been seeing a lot of her lately. she's an absolute dear to be with, absolutely crazy too.

i guess you really don't choose God, HE chooses you.

i'm just glad she decided to help out with pre-con 2010 =)

thanks deary

hart

=though the mountains may fall=

2010-08-03T13:05:00.002+08:00

And the hills turn to dust
Yet the love of the Lord will stand
As a shelter for all
Who will call on his name
Sing the praise and the glory of God!!!!!

ta-daaaaa!! (no the song doesn't end with ta-da, lol youuuu... )

anyways, in like 2 and a half more months STYG and i are gonna climb Mt Ophir.
I'm a little scared and very apprehensive about the um, toilets there... yups, dont think there are any. well, after this post imma gonna research on it. i feel like such a bimbo. but who can blame me man. ima hygiene freak. last time in tanjung pinang, my dormant rashes flared red - time to go bathe and be clean baby. hopefully nothing major happens while climbing Ophir. The Lord was with me the whole entire time in Tanjung Pinang i tell you. i didnt have to do major loo business there. THANK YOOOUUUUUU~~!

=my laptop's motherboard got fried=

2010-08-03T12:58:00.002+08:00

REPARO!!!!!

REPARO!

*shakes wand like a pen outta ink*

REPARO!

WHY WON'T IT %$%^#& WOOORK!

oh... i forgot, they don't do technology.

silly me ^^''

well, as you can tell, my laptop's died and i'm um, currently using the library's computers to do this and my homework. zip-a-dee-doo-da. i ordered i already and guess what??!

IT COMES IN 3 - 4 WEEKS TIME!!

AINT THAT JUST SIMPLY MAAARVELLOUS? (not)

=bother=

2010-08-03T12:55:00.002+08:00

why do should i bother blogging when i have a FB acc?
or rather,
whay should anyone blog when they have TWITTER???

cause it's test of eloquence. maybe. i dunno. but thats how I feel anyways.

=comic con=

2010-08-03T12:14:00.002+08:00

never expected me to say this, but man! comic con! makes me wanna go back to cosplaying, it homg. LOL! well you see, i was just browsing thru youtube and i so happen to eh, chance upon comic-con interviews and goddammit! it looks crazy and fun fun! =D maybe i'll come back this yr. good news to my cosfriends eh?

but one has to take note that comic-con in San Diego and NY, and EOY in Sg is so totally not the same. i shall go ask around. i wouldnt know who to do this yr =)

=once upon a dream=

2010-07-30T13:50:00.003+08:00

i know i haven't been posting and i wouldnt apologise, cause i know it will happen again.

its been so long since i blogged, and ever so so long since i roleplayed. reading has brought back nostalgic memories about roleplaying.

i admit that i'm blogging now in the comfort of my home where i'm far away from school, far away from classmates, far away from duties, far away from the noise. all i hear today are the soft drillings from my neighbour's house, the soft hummings of cars on the roads, the soft cawing of the birds, the occasional soft roaring of an aeroplane and the soft hushing from the fan. today, against all odds, i didnt go school. neighther did i yesterday. i can almost see the impending consequences i'll have to face for absentee-ing myself so often, but oddly enough, i'm not too regretful... as of now.

why then do i want to blog about this? this aint exactly something to be proud of. well, i'm not exactly blogging about it. i must mention about today's weather though. today's weather is absolutely MARVELLOUS. it's a cool 26 deg. this weather has brought back memories from my adolescent past, where i'll dream up things which cannot be and hope and wish it were true. those were the times of roleplaying and of course, harry potter. ah, i thought i lost myself when i stopped feeling enthusiastic over such stuff.

so what, vinia? so whaaat??? i hear you breathing through your teeth. so i have found myself la! aren't you happy for me? after all that moping around the past 2years? if you aren't, well i certainly am. and this certainly good news for you too kays, cause a happy vinia, is a happy you. and i never want to go back to school but i have to. i need to. i need to end this semester.

so i have found happinessw with the illusion books gives me, and so will i lose it when i stop reading... a good book that is. =)

ps: i;m reading The Color Purple by Aloce Walker & Matilda by Roald Dahl

=D

2010-05-30T23:26:00.004+08:00

Finally,

I have found

The dirt path

In the forests of song,

In the meadows of breath,

In the hills of echo.

I am thus lost,

Utterly and very blissfully, in

Art.

Thank You,

For You have let me find me.

(though it would be great if it was earlier you know. just a suggestion =D)

=Overdue Item=

2010-05-20T20:30:00.002+08:00

It's been long overdue, collecting and coagulating dust in it's own soup of disasterous stagnant ocean of words. I always do apologise for not updating but you know what? I still don't update.... hmmm?

It's been sometime since i did some reflecting. So maybe i'll start with a quick summary since i left off. In my last post, if you rmbr, i made a loooong wish before i blew them candles out. I wished to tell my parents about my out-of-school situation asap.

So (though i dont rmbr exactly when) arounds end november, i think, my dad picked me up for dinner and he kinda had that feeling i wasnt in school anymore. so i told him. thank god he took really well. he didnt blow his top, he didnt accuse me. nothing. instead he very calmly thought through his question after my statements or answers.

thanks dad =D

Then i had my first kids camp. Which was rather enriching and educational for me. i learnt that loads of kids are ADHD. and that they cant hear you unless you start shouting. but not all are like that and that every child grows up differently from each other. lastly treat them well, treat them equal and dont let them over rule you.

Then came yet another camp - Youth Camp 2009. This time Amazing Race lasted from 9am to 8pm ish. That's some race eh... tired me out. i think i lost 2kg HAHAHHA! whatever. xD

and then came school. i had to choose. i didnt know WHAT to choose. but in the end, i ended up in RP. woe be me. =( no, im not happy about it, but i have to be grateful, no? Im doing my Diploma in Technology and Arts Management, if anyone asks. and no, im not really enjoying it here. there are monkeys in my class and it's a domino effect. I cant wait to get out of this foundation sem and DO SOMETHING RELATED TO MY COURSE HOMG!

btw, CRYSTALEEEEE!!!! HOMG!!!! GO MAMASOX!!!! But whoever wins, i still love both of you =)

= 09 September 09 =

2009-09-16T20:53:00.010+08:00

*narration is below, not above, pictures

That's "two"enty-one for you. Trigger happy Nat started snapping pictures and being the toot i was, i gave her the silliest pose. *shrugs*

After much lateness from everyone (thank you so much for coming early Gracey dear), ESPECIALLY FAWN WHO LIVES IN THE SAME BLOCK AS I DO, we took off for Seletar Airbase at 5.50pm (initially 5.30pm) - with a spacious 8 passengers in the van and a squashed 5 passengers in Dennis' car (ROFL!).

In the picture from he back row: Gracey, Tash (someone loks grumpy), Valentino, Jerome, Me, Iwan, Mike, Dennis (i cant tell WHAT row he is, hahah!)

Girl power! row: Kim A., Kim Y., Nat

Squatter: Terence

The sun was setting when we FINALLy arrived at Seletar Airbase. The roads have changed much since I been there. Everytime i go there it's a dfferent path so if anyone asks me how to get there, I DUNNOOOOOO.

Anyways, Nat seemed to looove the pretty sunset, though there really wasnt anything to love about. It was hazy. It was cloudy. So you can guess as much how it looked like. 1st time i was there, it was SPECTACULAR. Pity i didnt have any camera with me then. =((! I WAS SADDEN TO BITS!!!

More pictures. When we finally finished loitering aaround the outside of the restaurant (Sunset Grill & Bar), we took more pictures when we settled down. AND I DID GET YOU FAWN! HA HA HA HA! WOOHOO! xD

Hmmmmmm, Vally dissappeared.....

.

After a looooong deliberation on what to get, the food finally arrived. Juicy battered mushrooms.

Nachos with sour cream, cheese, chilli beans and salsa dips.

She didnt take the it but we had Calamari and Battered Prawns and Grilled Sausages. And that's just our appetisers!

This is the star of the show. Their spicy buffalo wings. They have them in Levels from 0 to 10 (on the menu), but if you can finish 1 Level 30 wing, your name goes up in their hall of fame (just for a month. hahaha!)

Now that i see them under white light, i dare say they look spicy. IT'S SO RED!

We started off with a simple level 1. The chilli eaters didnt think anything of it.

Then level 3. Getting there... but not quite yet. WHERE IS TEH SPICYNESSS??

Level5.... was much better but yet they craved for that KICK.

Being itchy backsides, they ordered a level 10!

.

Mike embarking on a brave trip to Level 10.

.

I'm not sure what level Nat's having but she's sure having fun!

Personally, when i took small bite outta level 10, this was what happened:

"OH MY GOD! AAARRRGGGHh!!!!!" *coughcoughcough*

"ohmigawdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!" *pantpantpant*

*drinks water* (didnt help)

*takes deep breath*

*starts to tear*

...

*takes another bite*

*repeat process*

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

same thing happened to Jo. well, nearly. she cried tooo! whereas Mr. Cooldude Jerome, took it easy and started to paint his tongue with cheese after 5 mins in. HOHOHOHOH! and the sweat* baby! xD

*if you were wondering, no, Jo didnt sweat. I dunno why!

.

What was Iwan standing on?!?!?!?!

Yes, as were at an Airbase, there WERE planes there. As sua ku singaporeans, it was only nationalistic that we took some pictures.

.

A curious looking snapshot of Dennis and 4 stalking orbs of mysterious light.

.

Double chocolate made by the best baker i have known (so far). She's teaches in Shatec - her position: CEO chef.

Extra sweet, extra chocolatey, extra sinful.

.

TASH! WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR HAIR!

.

It was very noisy, very distracting, but yet it WAS a looong wish.

Ah, now it's the whole group.

Top row: gracey, Jo, tash, iwan, vally, jerome, terence

middle row: fawn, kim y., nat, kim a.,

my row: shell, me, dennis, mike

and what's a celebration without the family?

(he's my brother.....-in-law, fyi)

and yesyes, i look more like my mom and my sis like my dad. but i have my dad's ears. HAHHA!

they made open them. dennis was like, "guess what we got you!"

"erm, soft toys?"

"..... no, earrings! big gigantic ones! hope they fit you!"

"............................ i dont think they are big enough though"

"good luck man"

see the newpapers tucked under my arm? THAT was layer one.

My lovely assistant Fawn held the 2nd layer and third layer (which were both bubble wrap).

Um, they took a picture of my reaction when i saw what it really was, but i didnt like it though. you CAN imagine how reacted right? hahaha! thank again guys =)

and whats the use of a pair of headphones when i have nothing to plug it to?

*harts*

It was quite a birthday. Full of surprises and different experiences. On the way home, the van had a gear problem and almost broke down in the middle of the expressway. AHAHHAHAHHA! and popular tow truck company EMAS was ~~stalking~~ tailgating us thw WHOLE journey (until we got off the expressway).

For those of you who were wondering why i didnt invite you, to be fair, i didnt invite many either. The maximum was 20 people including my family. It was really difficult for me to squeeze my invitation from 35 to 15. If i could, i would throw a another one somewhere else with all of you. If i could, i would =)

= BlackJack=

2009-09-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

Read them and weep, baby (hohohohohohohooo...!) !!!

Thank you to the ever thoughtful and smart Fawny who knew what i really really wanted (or needed rather), and not to mention:

Nat
Dennis
Kim.A
Jerome
Vally (as written on the card)
and Mike

for the bestest shared presents ever (even if you just chipped in money, you still were the best to lighten the load x] )

Thank you to KimmYang for the cuuuuute kitty pouch and the yummiest smelling toy macaroon! *hart

Thank you Shell for the aDORable fan and bling phone strap.

Thank you Iwan for the most fragant paprika ever. I liked the reason behind it =3

And THANK YOU Jo, Gracey, Shell and Tash for the Free Spa Session. That was totally unexpected and absolutely the sweetest of you guys to come with such a fantatic idea =D

(yes i re-arragned it, but it's neater now no?)

As you all know, i dont have all the pictures. you know who you are... send them to me!~

=soon=

2009-09-07T21:34:00.000+08:00

my birthday's coming soon. very. i'm not exactly ready, but are YOU? though i'm rather excited =D

= 23rd Aug=

2009-08-24T11:43:00.000+08:00

Today was the day i was supposed to tell. i could just feel it. HE made it that day. although i tell, mummy knows. only she .....

= movies =

2009-08-09T20:35:00.005+08:00

There are some movies I cant wait to watch:

Coco Chanel

Where The Wild Things Are

The Last Airbender (this one can wait. when an indian plays zuuko, something must be wrong)

Sherlock Holmes

Earth ( which apparently came out on Earth Day, April 22nd ...)

2012 ( which is kinda scary. i might wanna wait.. oooor not. i dunno)
*btw, i looked up 2012 in wiki, November 13 2012, Total Solar Eclipse. Northern Australia and South Pacific

James Cameron's Avatar (nothing to do with element bending)

FAME

How to be

The Princess and the Frog

Coraline

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (FOOD, GLORIOUS, FOOOOD!!!)

Julie / Julia

and lastly, St Trinians

1:17 Lily Cole anyone? ;)

after a long wait...

and ten years later after going down the rabbit hole...

= Zee Avi =

2009-08-03T15:27:00.000+08:00

If you hae never heard of her, then you should. Here's a a small introduction to Zee Avi:

Zee Avi is just 23 but she's an old soul. A huge talent in a petite frame bringing a universal message from the unlikely birthplace of Borneo, an ancient island east of Malaysia which remains an untouched, natural paradise, an apt description of her songs.

How Avi came to record her debut album in L.A., the first joint release from Ian Montone's Monotone Label and Jack Johnson's Brushfire Records, is a true 21st century tale of the way the Internet has transformed the music business and shrunk the globe in the process.

Born in the tiny town of Miri in Sarawak on the island of Borneo, Zee grew up near the South China Sea in a liberal, encouraging household where her father owned an energy consultancy. "I was bred to be a lawyer," she says, but music was in her blood. Her father's father sang and played double-bass, accordion, violin and guitar in bands.

At age 12, Zee moved from Borneo to Kuala Lumpur where she has been based since. At 17, Zee started locking herself in a room for hours on end to learn to play guitar. Guitar took a back seat for 4 years while she was studying fashion design in London. When she returned to Kuala Lumpur, she picked the instrument back up and began writing songs and performing with a band.

Zee began recording her songs on a webcam and posting them on YouTube for a friend to hear. "I remember getting so excited when there was one new comment from some random person I didn't know... One read 'I'm lost for words - I shall favorite it and ponder if that's OK,' " which was written by Kris Rowley, a U.K. singer-songwriter with a YouTube following under the name Zzzzzzzzap. He began posting her videos on his site, which began a viral snowball effect.

The day before her 22nd birthday, Zee posted what she intended to be "my last video," a holiday song, "No Christmas for Me." By the time she checked her e-mail Avi had almost 3,000 messages including a slew of label offers. One email came from Ian Montone, who had been shown the YouTube clip by Raconteurs' drummer, Patrick Keeler, prompting Montone to get in touch and offer to release her music on the Monotone Label.

Before she knew it Zee was on a plane to L.A. to record her debut with producer Robert Carranza at Brushfire's Solar Powered Plastic Plant. "No Christmas for Me" was then featured on the holiday charity album, This Warm December, A Brushfire Holiday, Vol. 1.

For more information on her, go to her homepage http://www.zeeavi.com/bio/

=courage=

2009-08-03T14:16:00.000+08:00

i've not told them yet.
i'm so afraid.
i need courage.
i need their understanding.
i need their forgivness.

=Again=

2009-07-26T18:31:00.002+08:00

i have have watched harry potter, again, yes. And to tell you truthfully, I enjoyed it very much. So much infact, it got me falling in love with Harry Potter all over again. and I'm very glad I didnt re-read the book, or I really really would have been crushed.

To those who hasn't seen it, please go see it. you will not regret it. Yes, definately yes, the book IS better. But as a movie, it was great. It had that Oomph I have been waiting so long for.

=Half-Blood=

2009-07-21T22:30:00.002+08:00

Something very controversial about being "half-blood". Does one only consist of half the volume of blood than the average person? Or is a meterphorical term of genetic catergorising?

HAHAHAHAHAAH! Now you REALLY must be wondering why i'm speaking in such terms. My dearest readers, whomever you maybe, I have just seen the latest Harry Potter film. I do realise it's not like me to watch it days after it opens, but such popular movie should be enjoyed in it's off peak period - a weekday morning, like today.

Anyways, here is my review:
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
154 mins
3.5/5

Looking in perspective of someone who has not read the book or will not read it, was hard for me but i think i did do them justice.

Here's a small pointer for the producers and director: 99% of your viewers would have already read the book, yes we all know, though wht happens to the 1% who hasnt? are you just gonna IGNORE them? I personally know of idiots who dont want to read the book and totally depend on the film to tell what happens. So this is where YOU, youuuu dirctor and producers come in. see? SO DO JUSTICE TO MRS ROWLING.

With that note, this year's take on the multi-billion dollar enterprise wasn't as bad as what one would percieve it to be. I mean c'mon, i gave it 3 stars. I gave it 3.5 stars. ME. the very critical one. Of course i had to be very liberal and cut some strings, such as not reading the book in about 2years?

With that reassuring I won't remember how the story starts and ends (though sadly enough, I have) and what went on in between, I watched it like i have didnt know who the half blood prince was. I'll try not to leave any spoilers for readers and non-readers.

If you have read the book 1 month in advance, i assure you WILL be disappointed. Disappointed with the illusion of the what the film maybe. If you have not, then GOOD FOR YOU! David Yate's depiction of the sixth was much better than the previous. (then again, i read th book in advance, and i loved sirius more i loved dumbledore. [now that sounded kinda wrong don't ya think?])

With so many of our things to pick out from the book, i think they did a pretty good job. The romance, the half-blood prince, the memories(important ones), the rise of the Dark Lord, the break in and the Horcruxes. They did miss out on one chapter which I looked forward to seeing on screen though, but i wont spoil it. No, it isn't the Cave. You've seen the trailers. It's there alright. But in my opinion, they shouldn't have left out the ____ cause it shows that they don't give a $%^& of his departure.

In comparison with the 3rd & 4th movie, (which I watched and judged as someone who has not read the book) HBP was more informative and filled in the more important holes that needed to be filled (Only if you were paying attention. blink and you'll miss it, see?).
Now, because i saw the 3rd and 4th on tv before I saw the 6th, i got mixed up with the information. i clear have forgotten about the 5th movie, so happenings have not been in chronological order.

CINEMATOGRAPHY! now THAT my dearest friends, was David's best. It was reallyreallyreallyreally good. The camera angles, the lightings, the music, the timing of the music, the CG, FANTASTIC! i give it 9/10 (daniel's face sadly isnt my favourite face ever).

Charaters
Harry - his acting has improved and with David's new form of directing (totally different from OtP), its a whole new different Daniel, though with that same face -_- =(. i know harry's not supposed to be handsome and all but he IS the hero. the Chosen One innit? and i noticed he's kinda short. and shorter than ginny.... >_> ew.

Hermione - I'm still upset that she lost her bushy hair. yes, she looks good with CURLS,but THATS NOT HERMIONE. No other comment on her. She's a great actress.

Ron - is totally spot on.

Malfoy - ish teh smexy. if you just wipe that smirk out of his face, it's just perfect for malfoy. Ooooh!!! *fangirl squirm*

Ginny - IS SO GROWN UP! =D

Conrack (SP?) - is hilarious!! i LOVE the way he is soooooo *school jock* but yet fails.

Lavender - HOMG!!! WON-WON!!!! I LOVE HER!!! very very good at playing lavender. *another fangirl squirm*

Slughorn - was IDEAL. He was everything I thought he'd be. Maybe a lil chubbier.

Oh, I got to tell you this - I cried when he had to drink and when he fell. ok, i TEARED.

To conclude, i give a 3/5 for EXCELLENT cinematography, GREAT script, V.GOOD casting, GOOD in carrying across the storyline, FAIR originality/book depiction

=new=

2009-07-14T15:16:00.004+08:00

N.E.W.S.H.O.E.S.

I'm happy they have what i want in my size. Totally psyched. though a lill painful >A<

N.E.W.A.G.E.

It's Gen's 20th. No more a teen Gen =3 welcome to the club.

She loves to eat cakes wholly. Candle and all. xD!!!

and not to forget, AmeliaAng, Happy Birthday to you too!

N.E.W.P.E.R.C.E.P.T.I.O.N

Not exactly new. But I'm sure it'll be new for you. What you are about to see, is not only for christians or catholics. it may also apply to other religions, but kindly dont come after me discussing about how much it doesnt apply to you cause it's not your religion. At least listen to the non-reglious part. It still works.

Here are some samples:

Coed segment

Guys Segment

Girl's Segment

=NOOOO=

2009-07-12T13:47:00.003+08:00

ack! they arent gonna show harry potter in SDC =( *very SAD* but i wanna watch hp6 in a isolated IMAX. sigh... so ahrd to watch movie with strangers dont ya think? the consideration of OTHERS. and i know my friends love to talk during the movie. blurgh. *pulls pouty face*

=Wishlist=

2009-07-06T23:26:00.003+08:00

soon it'll be mah birthdaaeh. and you are not obliged to give me any presents. IF i decide to have a party, coming and having fun, be merry would suffice =). but anyways here is mah prezzies wishlist (in no particular order):

Roller Coaster Tycoon 1 or 2
Big white headphones (Skullcandy if you may? xD)
Crystal accesories that shines like Swarovski
DOMOkun schtuff
Tinkling chimes
Gmask for Laptop / Handphone
Something hilarious
A new set of acrylic paint (lols)
A schnazzy notebook

(its late, i wanna sleep thats all i can think about. hahaha)

-

on another note, it's going to be 16th July quite so very soon. you know what that means. my plan is to "celebrate" it low key. i'd like to catch the movie in SDC's imax theatre. 1) hardly anyone goes there. hopefully no one still does =p. 2) because no one goes there, we can the whole theatre to ourselves. thus we can make as much noise as we can. hahahhaha *coughcough*

though if you have a better idea *nudgenudge* then please do suggest it=)

= 3/4 =

2009-07-03T10:28:00.002+08:00

my problems are 3/4 solved.

very good news, if you are interested to know. the true yoga epic is finally over. but i'm watching The Backyardigans now. so i cant concentrate on complaining. so i'll edit this post sometime later with the complain about how HORRIBLE true yoga's management is =D.

now i just have to tell my family i quit school. this, i know i'm gonna be dead minced meat Dx.

BUT I WANNA WORK AND EARN MONEY AND SHOP AND BUY, BUY , BUY!

sigh, now, kaplan and MDIS and psb academy are far outta sight. cause, cause, cause, i dunno lar. i still DUNNO WHAT TO DO!!!! i dun wanna mass comm anymore. maybe sound engineering??? veterinary??? FSV??? @#$%^&*(

is it wrong to slowly find your calling in life? even if it's much slower than others? it's not a crime nor a sin innit? i just hope my dad and sis will agree D=

= peculiar cravings =

2009-06-11T23:33:00.002+08:00

Ever since I started work in Kumon, I have this very strong urge to do

algebra.

i miss it.

really.

really unbelieveable.

really unbelieveably true.

like me crushing on Ellen.

dammit

=UNbelieveable=

2009-05-30T21:02:00.001+08:00

I CANNOT BELIEVE I'M CRUSHING ON ELLEN DEGENERES.

CANNOT.

but I am.

!?!?!!?!??!!?!??!?

= unnecessarily necessary stress =

2009-05-27T19:46:00.002+08:00

I'm very stressed again. it's money all over again. i hate it. i ABSOLUTELY HATE it when i have to frikkin face the money problem. because of my stupidity, im in a loss. True Yoga is coming after me for payment (which i cant cause i'm just a poor pauper student) and they cant frikkin terminate the stupid contract. i also, very co-incidentally cant find my contract. why does God play such games with me? hellooo.....? for that, i SPITE EEEEUUUU. dammit man. i REALLYREALLY should NOT have been SUCKERED into this *&^%$#@ thing.

so i go to forums to read up more about such cases. well, its so not the same as mine. dammit. i also went into other threads to read about my upcoming education road. MDIS or Kaplan? seems like neither. but dont people who go to online threads basically complain? i have not heard anything good from either Institutions.basically f-ed up admins ..... nothing about studying environment. i feel so, so, stuck i wanna cry and just GIVE UP.

i need a part time diploma in one year. i need money to sustain my stupidity. i need... so much. cause im missing so much.

can anyone tell me what i should do, where to go for my future studies? i dont wanna be old before i graduate.

=yet another Harry Potter related news=

2009-05-22T18:32:00.002+08:00

i just thought of joining a Harry Potter Group in Facebook. it's absolutely hilarious. it's called Harry Potter and the Bad Pickup Lines.

Here are some of them:

We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

I don't have an invisibility cloak but do you think tonight I can visit your restricted section?

I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.

Do you think you could take on a mountain troll in the bathroom like Hermione did? Would you be ready in five minutes?

Wanna make some magic together? My wand is at the ready.

If you were a quaffle and I was a chaser during a quidditch match, I'd score with you.

I must have had some Felix Felicis because I think I'm about to get lucky.

Without you I feel like I'm in Azkaban and dementors are sucking away my soul.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

Want to go to the Hog's Head, if you know what I mean?

Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.

Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.

Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.

I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.

How 'bout you and me go look for the Room of Requirement?

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

What do you say we disapparate out of here.

-end-

*i did not come up with these lines. but arent they just absolutely hilarious?? xD

Be a fan!

and oh, and i became a of Ellen Degeneres too!

=I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT!!!=

2009-05-21T22:17:00.002+08:00

IT'S FRIKKIN SEASON 2 ALL OVER AGAIN!!! AAARGH!! GRRRR!!

I CANT BELIEVE AMERICA WAS IGNORANT ENOUGH TO THINK THAT ADAM WILL GET ENOUGH VOTES!!!

the one and only time i'm actually watching american idol with this much anticipation, and he doesnt win.
if had the money, I WOULD FOUND THE MEANS AND WAYS TO VOOOOTTEE!!

=schtuff to sell=

2009-05-17T22:50:00.003+08:00

heyhey, thanks guys for replying to my tag! i still need alot more of your opinions though. thanks so much again.

anyways, i've got some news. could shocking, but please dont be. without even being in the scene of cosplaying for long (1 costume), i have decided to quit. sigh, like i did for school. i have a very good reason to do so. with money being my number one problem, i cant just earn it to stay in the cosplaying scene. i'm terribly sorry. please dont tell anyone. i want to just disappear from the scene, and especially with my strawberry shortcake project which i so much want to do, but...

so with my disappearance, i'd like to sell away my Earl of Millenium of DGM costume. It consists of:

Big Top Coat

Black Pants

Stuffing (to make yourself round like him)

(coming soon) Top Hat*

all from SGD$130

*cost of top hat not confirmed

Size:

Shoulder 44-50cm

Height 167-175cm

Pictures coming soon

~*~

Ask anyone who wants/needs it if you dont want/need the costume. i need the money. thanks!

details like payment shall be discussed in msn ya? cursendratrueword@hotmail.com

= where to go =

2009-05-12T22:24:00.004+08:00

you are loafing off in your living room watching Food Network and Travel & Living. 20 years of your life you wanted to do something fun, unique, you want to entertain, you want to BE entertained, try new foods, discover new lands, BUT YOU ARE GOING NO WHERE JUST SITTING HERE! sigh

it is nearing your day of freedom. within a few more months and you are free to walk into a theatre showing an R21 movie without having to show proof your age. mine comes in approx 4 months. in my previous post, i had 2 choices:

1) chalet & BBQ or something similar
2) go overseas

now if you can spot problems that lie within the 2 options, you would understand the dilemma i'm in.

now this goes out all of you. tag me in my tagboard to tell me whether i should go for 1) or 2). dont bother telling me "it's up to me cause it's my birthday." cut the crap and be selfish for once. if you want food and embience for a party, TELL ME. the decision is based on what you want. i'll see the results.

also, if you choose 1) please suggest a good place to go. =) if anyone of you say "anywhere", i'l randomly pick one of your houses and persnally park my big fat ass there for my 21st party! that is if it is ever going to happen.

=another Potter news=

2009-05-12T22:13:00.003+08:00

i know Harry Potter is so long gone sad to say. but a fan will always be a fan nonetheless. here is another gay moment for Harry. ok, so he's not exactly gay, but he's not doing himself any justice by this quotation:

DH pg422 Line 36-37
" 'Well, he's not my type, but he'll do,' said Harry. 'Shall we go, then?' "

i shan't explain any further and leave you in bewilderment. =D

-

on other Potter news, Warner Bros latest installment of JK Rowling's sixth Harry Potter movie will be out in cinemas around mid July (15th-17th?). The trailer, as usual, rocks socks. But I strongly advice to NOT prepare yourself for the movie by re-reading HBP.

YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED.

Let me remind you that though that phase of harry Potter fandom is slowly dying in me(though not thouroughly), i can never deny not ever liking this very facinating and adventurous story.

=ARGH!=

2009-05-10T17:31:00.001+08:00

I CANT BELIEVE ALLISON ISNT IN THE FINAL 3!!!! TwT

=Idolistic Predictions=

2009-05-06T14:46:00.004+08:00

AdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambert
AdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambert

AdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambert
AdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambert
AdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambertAdamLambert

is this year's idol.

Whether he wins or not.

(Below: Adam's dramatic entrance.

Simon banned ryan from using the stairs ever. Hahaha!)

(Below: Idol's best performances EVER.

Simon gave a Standing O)

But he is.

and Allison will be runner up.

I LOVE his hair, his eyeliner, his EYES, his falsy, his charisma, his HEIGHT, his style, and his background in theatre.

=blogshop=

2009-04-27T16:21:00.006+08:00

hey people! in need for fashionable and affordable clothes and accessories?

visit

Jo's lovely, chic closet =D

rocker chick clothes for the sweet, sporty and spunky side of you =D

= it's been a long time coming =

2009-04-23T13:43:00.003+08:00

Oh.

My.

God.

GOLD!

CHIJ St. Theresa's Convent's Angklung Ensemble's 1st Gold in

10 YEARS!

the last time we had a Gold was in 1999 so yeah. oh my god. we screamed when we heard the news. never in my dreams did i EVER believe we were that lucky. and words CANNOT describe the excitement and joy I'm feeling right now. i seem to get into a fangirl squeal whenever i think of it.

We never thought we'd would actually get a Gold with 99.9% of them looking glum and bored. Glum and bored playing MAMA MIA! wah piang eh... our girls can kill you sometimes, but what they really needed was a tonne of encouragement.

you know, just 20mins before their performance, they just killed us with noisy clinking and klanking of the angklungs, nervous stiff faces, and off tempo playing. i thought "great... they better be just kidding". thank god they were. they outperformed their standards; stopping in time, bopping and bouncing and swaying with the beat and melody of Mama Mia and Faridah's original: Gamelanesque. And Anusha the drummer was impeccably perfect with her tempo.

there was one thing i noticed about the different conductors.

Ms Faridah's 4 schools had tiers of angklungs in each student's hand, a Gendang player and a percussionist.

There was one skinny malay conductor. 5 schools i think. i dunno what happened ok, but when you watch them, they rock socks so much and all they ever got were bronzes and silver. HUH? though his students had only an angkulng or two each. and his song pieces were immaculate! he did the olympics opening theme and many others that just captures your heart and gives you goose bumps, in a good way.

all in all, with 15 secondary schools and 2 JCs ( MI and NJC) there were 1 Gold with Honours, 3 Golds, many Silvers and a handful of Bronzes (much to my surprise). thankfully no C.O.Ps. were given or that wouldve have met you suck big time. O.O

I'm so proud of Ms Faridah and that principle who hired her as Angklung Instructor. Faridah certainly knows what it takes to get that gold. 2 out of that 3 Golds were hers =)

ps: i wish i had pictures to display our pride and joy but they didnt allow cameras or recording devices. besides, my phone... sigh my phone..... oh siiighhhh.....

= Anagram=

2009-04-16T14:51:00.002+08:00

I have recently fallen in Love with Imogen Heap.

Quoted from Wiki:
"Imogen Jennifer Jane Heap, born 9 December 1977 in the London Borough of Havering is a Grammy nominated English singer-songwriter from Romford, London, most famous for her work as part of Frou Frou and for her 2005 solo record Speak for Yourself, which she wrote, produced and mixed herself. In 2006, she was nominated for two Grammy Awards.

Heap had kept in contact with Guy Sigsworth, who had co-written and produced "Getting Scared" from i Megaphone, and this led to the pair of them establishing the collaborative project Frou Frou. Heap and Sigsworth remain firm friends, and have worked together since the project, including their temporary re-formation in late 2003, when they covered the Bonnie Tyler classic, "Holding Out for a Hero", which was featured during the credits of the movie Shrek 2 after Jennifer Saunders' version in the film.

At the end of 2004, with the album completed, Heap premiered two album tracks online, enabling fans to purchase them prior to the album's release – "Just for Now" (which was up for a limited time as a Christmas gift), and "Goodnight and Go", which had been featured on the second season of hit US TV drama The O.C. early in the month. Heap announced at a December 2006 concert in Lawrence, KS that the track "Just for Now" was also originally written for The O.C. as a combination Christmas and Hanukkah song titled "Chrismukkah" but was deemed by the producers to be "too dark."
In April 2005, The O.C. featured another track, the sparse vocodered-vocal track, "Hide and Seek" in the closing scenes of the season two finale."

So yeah, a lil about Imogen Heap. that IS her real name can you believe it?? i love her even more. i grew up with an "unusual"and grew to like it's uniqueness. i love uncommon names.

Hide and Seek
Where are we? What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.
When busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines.
All those years they were here first.

Oily marks appear on walls
Where pleasure moments hung before.
The takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still life.

Hide and seek.
Trains and sewing machines. (Oh, you won't catch me around here)
Blood and tears, (Hearts)
They were here first.

Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Ah off course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it’s just what we need? And you decided this.
Mmm what you say?
What did she say?

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I dont believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit.

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth.
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs.
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you.
You don't care a bit. You don't care a (You don't care a) bit.

Oh no, You don't care a bit.
Oh no, You don't care a bit.
Oh no, You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.
You don't care a bit.

=2 things=

2009-04-12T21:44:00.009+08:00

i've got alot to say. now before i lose my focus, i'll list them down now.

1) Apologies
2) the Devil wears Prada
3) Confi-Camp
4) Passion Play
5) Birthday

Right. Here i go.

1) I'm really sorry... actually, not really. For my um, hiatus? i know i havent been blogging lately. I've been really busy despite me not working OR studying. but still, mannersmannersmanners, no?

2) so i just caught the re-run of the Devil wears Prada. and it just reminded me so very much of what i would have been if i continued with school. every aspect of thet show was so true. and thats exactly why i quit school. i really am so afriad of turning into one of them. i see andy in me.

3) as mentioned in my previous post, i went for a confirmation camp. it wasnt as good as pre-confirmation camp, but still good enough. a small and intimate number of people came from the camp. from 16 to 8... hmmm... haha! oh wells. i did a whole of sharing. i went for confession. and now whenever i bump into the priest, he inquires about my situation. yes, its about school. i havent told my parents yet. i dunno how i'm supposed to break it to them. ROAR.

This weekendd, ima gonna go on another camp yet again. David Weekend or something. called out to me when i first heard of it. i guess it's the orgins of where my name came from. Davinia, David... David, Davinia.... no? Lol! *shrugs*

i might have photos or even blog about it. if i feel like it. =p

4) this was my busiest Easter ever. i spent 5 consecutive days going back to church to sew. uuuuuuuuugghh... it was like school all over again. EXCEPT i dont get marks for it. HAHA! though im quite disappointed with it, especially the women's clothing. it was all fitting and slim and a little tight if you might ask. its not supposed to be fitted mind you. we couldnt even walk properly... sigh. whatever.

here are some pictures from rehersals and after the play's group picture:

Standing on stage left to right: Steven, Father Damien, Terence, Gabriel, Calvin, Gillian
Sitting on steps left to right: Jerome, Monica, me, Debbie, Nat, (Valentino squatting on stage), Kim, Mel, Shawna

Terence on the cross. He played Jesus.
Additional person: Iwan (sitting on the left), Mike(sitting in front of Debbie).
*still cant get a decent picture*

Finally! a decent picture! additional person: Jerry beside Mike.

Here're our Directors. Monica and Debbie

and here we are "listening"to them.

gabriel: ladidaaaaa
mike: *kakoi*

the cast in calico protypes. hehehe.

5) as you all know, ima turning 21 in September. there is a very high chance of me being very selfish and not hold a party at all. well, here are my plans in point form.

a) hold a party at i dunno where.
i'd love to celebrate my 21st with you guys, but i just dunnno where and planning is super important to me. everything ahs to be perfector near perfect at least. you know me, so everything will be stressful. and the most importnt person i'd want to see on my birthday cant come cause she's stuck in australia =( . its not her fault though, but it'll be great with her around. problems with who to invite and who not to as there MAY be friction between them. UGH. just what you need, unnecessary drama. bleh.

b) go holiday-ing at another country: UK, Europe, Disneyworld, Japan.
i was thinking of touring with my mom n sis. or i could go Contiki-ing by myself. it;ll be so fun. i ahve always wanted to go to the UK. like FOREVER. or japan. but now DISNEYWORLD. disneyworld, i havent been there. ive been to disneyland, but its not the same. disneyworld's bigger, better. and WHOOHOO!! THE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH!!! but no one to go with me... =(

so it's back to contiki0ing in the UK or hold a party. thing is, i need to plan asap before the prices changes or you know.... you know.... flight timings, dates, booking blahblah... still stuck and always will be.

* I CANT BELIEVE IN STILL JOBLESS!!! W-H-Y! ROAR! IM SO SICK OF IT!

i know i said 2 things but... what the heck =p

=camp=

2009-03-13T00:05:00.002+08:00

im not even blogging reguarly, but i'll just put this down anyways.

i'll be off to camp later today till sunday, and i've not packed yet darnnit. *piggy face*

anyways, i'm just there to help out. i'm still not ready to do the heavy stuff like sessions or anything spiritually dependant on. truthfully speaking, i'm there more of a partcipant than anything else. though im very glad i can lend a helping hand. It's not that I don't know why. It's that I clearly do know why.

a BIGBIG thank you in advance to Jerome, Iwan, Dennis, Terence, Jock, Kimmy, Nat and Kemmy=) the camp will be great and a great experience for the confirmants. im sure of it.

ciao!
gotta go pack and sleep.

= phil =

2009-03-07T12:17:00.003+08:00

i was on youtube the whole of thursday night. gen was online doing go knows what besides her homework =p anyways, she linked me a vid on msn

you guys remember the 2 chinese guys lip syncing to backstreet boys? well, they're back with a pepsi commercial spoof/lipsync. it's hilarious i tell you. i burst out laughing in the middle of the vid.

wells, one wasnt enough so i went hunting for more hilarious vids

so i got bored with them and then i found AmazingPhil! HOMG, i hart english guys so much. he's from manchester. and his vlogs are so random. he says he's in uni and doesnt seem to be busy, maybe he is but manages well. or maybe he's really good at what he does. i forgot what course he's doing....

anyways, a little about him: he's taaallll like effin 6ft oAo. he's english. he loves lions. he's random. he's eccentric and most importantly, he's haaaawwwwwt. ok, i'll stop. so here's one of his many vids. he does good editing =)

he found a slinky... lols

---

LOL! weird peoplessss

=deeper thoughts=

2009-02-21T13:52:00.002+08:00

WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO AFTER YOU GET YOUR CERT??

all of these will definately sound familiar to you. i guess some of you will have already have your book written already. doesnt matter whether it goes exactly according to plan. at least you know what to do =)

i have been asked that question over and over again, and time and again, i never ever know how to answer them. uuuh....? nothing.

i guess when you have figured out who you really are it either becomes harder or easier. i figured out i'ma Jack of All Trades, Master to None.

SIAN

so what does a Jack, i mean Jacq, of All Trades, Master to None do?

= the rattling sounds of bamboo =

2009-02-12T01:10:00.003+08:00

Tuesday, Feb 10th, 2009

It's been a 3 week delay but it was still totally worth it. on tues, bel and i went back stc. very nearly everything there meant nothing to us, and so much has changed since we left. so many teachers that left an impression on us has left. good and bad ones, but who cares! even the principle has changed. thank god miss faridah was still there and Angklung remained every
Tuesday.

this was what happened that day:
when we had finally reached our beloved school, the security guard was like "no you cant go in at all to visit without teacher's permission. cause few days ago got alot of you already graduate come back to take cert. they say 15mins, 2 hrs later they come out. cannotcannot! somemore they all dress up like *does big, vague hand gestures around his body and face* uh yah."

and we toatlly were like "WTFH SHUT UP MAN! NO WAY! WE FINALLY MANAGED TO FIND A DAY WE CAN COME BACK TO SEE MS FARIDAH AND WE NOW CANT BECAUSE OF SOME SECURITY GUARD WHO THINKS WE ARE IRRESPONSIBLY INCOMPATENT ???????" in our hearts. what we actually said was, "so how?". obviously we didnt know "how", but thank god he allowed us to call her to confirm that we ARE here to see her.

so cute. know what she said when we called her?
bel: hi ms faridah! where are you? we're here to see you!
ms faridah: who's this??
bel: bel and davinia
me: LOL!!
ms faridah: oh hiiii!!! you're here to see me?? so sweet of you! oh good also! you can help us carry the angklungs later. you chose the right day man.
bel: oookaaaaaay~! ^^" bye~! see later!
bel to me: we have to carry angklungs later. said we chose the right day to come. haha!
me: O.O
-
so after like 10 bags and boxes of angklungs and a rack later, we got down to business. LAZING IN THE AIR CON ROOM!! then she needed our help. why? CAUSE THERE WERE 35 SEC 1s BABY!!!! WHOOHOOOO! once, there was only like ONE sec 1. stupid right?? wa piang. i wanted to kill the teacher in charge. but that was then. so off we went teaching them.

thank god i had the normal streamed people. cause normal streamed people are more artistic =D and its easier to teach them non theorectical stuff. anyways, revisiting them and teaching them what you've grown to love was really an eye opener and somewhat fun and inspiring =). really brings out the potential in you.
i did tire them out though, my bad Dx i was looking for spare angklungs. sorry gals!

after all that, i do wanna go back to help out. SYF's in late April. they'll need it

= eh oh eh oh eh =

2009-02-05T11:14:00.004+08:00

omg, i totally L - O - V -E this song. this is pnau. i have no idea whatsoever as to how to pronounce it, but what the heck ya? they are singing baby from their 2nd or 3rd album, i dont remember. so that means they arent just some unknown overnight success artists. they've got other songs like Embrace and Wild Strawberries. the strawberries you see in this vid are from Wild Strawberries. totally retarded, totally adorable >w<.

i love how very pac-man ish, 1980s game themed it is. and the sound is so, i dont know, fun? cute? cheeky? the use of children. OH! SO ADOOOOORABLLEEEE! pnau isnt the children. pnau is the 2 grown up guys. they are like sound mixers you know. they do all the lyrics and music and editing but they dont sing. interesting eh? =)

=baditude=

2009-01-09T00:52:00.002+08:00

nope, i didnt spell attitude wrongly. baditude. gen introduced me this song-cum-video about 3-4months ago. i just got stuck in my head. i totally love it. its so .... so fashionably sound.
i know for one, tash is gonna LUUURVVE it. hohoho~

enjoy~

by Spoon, Harris & Obernik

=new year new song=

2009-01-01T00:41:00.003+08:00

(for those who read something about monkeys and islands, i think you need see a doctor) LOL

anyways, since this is the new year, i thought of finally changing the song for the moment. it was a good debate between Miranda Cosgrove's Leave It All To Me, or this one you're hearing - Cirque Du Soleil's Alegria.

it's sophisticated, artistic and elcetic. i had reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally wanted to see Alegria when they came to Singapore, but my dad was like "WHAT FOR????? WHY WASTE MONEY TO GO SEE SUCH THING???" UGH!!! i hate him. and he was so happy to have BORROWED a PIRATED VCD from his BROTHER to show me the show. NOT FRIKKIN THE SAME O K ?? gosh

anyways i was just browsing the website, here and there and i saw "JOBS". OMG! to work with Cirque Du Soleil!! how COOL will that be?? homghomghomg... they have jobs openings like educators for the children, ticketers, management, show operators, costume designers, make up artists, hair artists, costume makers, touring management, FOOD providers ETCETC. OH MY GOOOOOOOUUURD.

Alegria
Come un lampo di vita
Alegria
Come un pazzo gridare
Alegria
Del delittuoso grido
Bella ruggente pena,
Seren
Come la rabbia di amar
Alegria
Come un assalto di gioia

Alegria
I see a spark of life shining
Alegria
I hear a young minstrel sing
Alegria
Beautiful roaring scream
Of joy and sorrow,
So extreme
There is a love in me raging
Alegria
A joyous,
Magical feeling

Alegria
Come un lampo di vita
Alegria
Come un pazzo gridare
Alegria
Del delittuoso grido
Bella ruggente pena,
Seren
Come la rabbia di amar
Alegria
Come un assalto di gioia

Del delittuoso grido
Bella ruggente pena,
Seren
Come la rabbia di amar
Alegria
Come un assalto di gioia

Alegria
Como la luz de la vida
Alegria
Como un payaso que grita
Alegria
Del estupendo grito
De la tristeza loca
Serena
Como la rabia de amar
Alegria
Como un asalto de felicidad

Del estupendo grito
De la tristeza loca
Serena
Como la rabia de amar
Alegria
Como un asalto de felicidad

There is a love in me raging
Alegria
A joyous,
Magical feeling

=New Year=

2009-01-01T00:11:00.002+08:00

My resolutions for me and for you

Be more decisive

Be less selfish

Find someone

Be loved

Forgive

Be patient

Draw closer to God

= dinner =

2008-12-31T23:01:00.008+08:00

so on the 28th we had a VERY well deserved dinner at Fairmont Hotel's Market Place Cafe. not super fancy, yes. but better then nothing and the bread we had been eating. YES I FRIKKIN ATE BREAD FOR DINNER AND LUNCH DURING CAROLLING!! oAo

anyways, dozo...

the back of the cafe all reserved for us. we didnt take the whole place. we still had 3-4 tables left ^^

the happy people grabbing delicious food. the top guy is the "official" photographer. thank you so much for them! =)

FOOOOOOOOD!!!!! sausages, pork, sushi, sashimi, crab, oysters, salads, durian pudding, chocolate fountain, kueh pai ti, babi ponchek etcetcetcetcetcetc!!!

and here are the people sitting at tables happy to get away from the delicious food to take a frikkin picture and pose for the cameraman who just cant wait til everyone's finished.

if you can see the general picture (the four people), they are Robert, our ever talented pianist, his wife, his sister-in-law, and his niece (yup, the angel). and her mom, his sis-in-law, did the name thing. good eh? Augustine's one is so neat!!!

so there you are mr John! xD whatcha eatin there? and below are the filipinas =)

see, i told you they were related (like a picture of them together's gonna prove it >w> lol!)
in the bottom picture: if you can spot the obvious person in white, he's Mr John's other son. and if you can spot the other guy in the most conspicuous corner of the picture (bottom right) (he reminds me of ivan. blend into the background), he is our parish's priest.

and here is our table with mommy, her friend, an angel, 3 guys (1 went to get food) and a follow soprano. yes, i'm the one hiding my face. I WAS EATING!! and it was kueh pai ti! \

me: "wah lao! i was eating leiiiiiiii~"

photog: "must show that you all are eating marhx..."
me: ... "fine" *opens mouth*

ah, much better now innit?

.
fin

oh! ive typed into the midnight! HAPPY NEW YEAR!

= The End =

2008-12-29T22:48:00.009+08:00

So all month long i have been carolling, singing my lungs out. spreading the joy of song, christmas and christianity.

and finally

WE ARE DONE WITH CAROLLING, THANK GOD!

i have lost my voice after (you wont believe it) 680 songs, 38 sessions, 13 days, 10 places, and um, eeeeeeeeeerrrruuuuhhhh....... LOTS of water (but apparently not enough LOL!!).

we basically sang the same 20++ songs 4 to 5 times a day. yeah, i know. ow. very pitying. loads of pictures were taken of course so here they are! sorry if it lags up your computer >.<

Us at The Grand Hyatt shot one.

.
Us at The Grand Hyatt shot2

The audience at The Grand Hyatt were amazing.

Dancing, clapping, PARTICIPATION. hohoho~!

Us at The Central

here are our faithful supporters.

they followed us everywhere we went.

literally! if we had a 5pm at st regis, they'd be there.

if we had a 7pm after that at orchard hotel, they'd be there!

they arent stalkers, dont worry. they're my mom's friends

And let me introduce to you our one and only Conductor John Lee

and here are two other Johns in the choir.

and this is our towkay neo, Mrs Monica Lee. Yes, John's wife.

and this, is John's brother. i forgot his name. >.<>

and i didnt KNOW till my mom saw the pictures OwO''

In every catholilc parish, there's bound to be a huuuuge family. in our choir there were several families. not necessarily huge.. but i'll get to that later. here is one family: the... the um.... i forgot. >.< !

oh! and can you spot the tall guy with the crew cut, and his mouth shaped into an O? he's John's son.

here's our ever so talented pianist. he's kinda blind but he can still see =)

and here's his niece. she looks bored now doesnt she? oh wells, bad shot.

and at the right box, is her father, a taekwondo teacher and ever so chatty.

here we are in St Regis. you cant go in without rhyme or reason or even the toilet.

so here's the lobby shot. on our right is the cafeteris lounge, a tinytiny place, but very bright nd cheery.

.
entrance of the lounge

NOW, here's the intro into the big family St Berns' has.

On the Left is Joshua Dyason. In the Middle is Stefanie Dyason. and on the Right is Esther Lee.

Josh and Stef siblings, nephew and niece to John. Esther too.

.
here's another shot of Stefanie. down there is her littlest sister. i forgot her name.

she can sure dance though. she was VERY active, in and out, round about.

.

here's a close up =) she literally went in and out of the choir rows. LOL! she was looking at Esther. yes, THAT esther. btw, we have another esther in the group. camera shy see...

yups! we had angels. they give out candy and had to be taught how to SMILE 8D.

i had to tell them to "SMILE LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT" .

anyways, she the lady in pink on the right with the long hair? that's stef 's and josh's mom. and the third angel (right) is their sis and her other daughter.

am i confusing you yet? in this picture, i have boxed 3 angels. and circled 2 of the 3. they are related. in the circle, believe it or not ( i know I didnt) are twins, Sam and Sabrina.

yes, you read it right, TWINS. as in same mother and father and birthdays. weird eh? faternal twins i think.

and there is the 3rd angel i mentioned. her name's Isabella Dyason.

and all of them are cousins (twins are automatically 1 person)

.
and last but definately not least, is Little Bernadette. such a sweet thing isnt she?

aunty monica told us we had 6+1 angels. she's the +1. sometimes she's there. OOHhh! SOOO CUUUTE! >w< kawaaaaaiiisoooooo ="w="">

=tag, i'm it=

2008-12-28T23:22:00.002+08:00

#1 The first person who tag in your blog is?
Shainz

#2 Your relationship with him/her?
one year my junior. she's my ex-schoolmate. a good friend too =)

#3 Your impression of him/her?
random
good tempered (better than me)
cattish ( i hope it's self-explainatpry ^^")
creative
the best friend we all hope to have

#4 The most memorable thing he/she had done for u?
everything. but to name one, (and im so proud of it) she let me read AND BRING HOME her preeeecioussssss mangaS. i felt so honoured =') lols

#5 The most memorable thing he/she said to you?
"See this pathway? It's looks very long right? [*i nod*] Actually, it is. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

#6 If he/she become your lover you will
be in very big trouble. HUGE. GIANORMOUS.

#7 If he/she become you lover, thing he/she has to improve will be
um..... er.....

#8 If he/she become your enemy, you will?
be very sad. disheartened to have lost such a good friend.

#9 If he/she become your enemy, the reason will be?
um..... er......

#10 The most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is?
to make her feel good about herself and lend her a listening ear.

#11 Your overall impression of him/her is?
a blue moon. rare. unsual. one of a kind. different. all in a good way of course.

#12 How you think people around you feel about you
push over
selfish
loud (sometimes) / quiet (anti-social)
oblivious
obnoxious

#13 The characters that you love about yourself are
my optimissm

#14 On the the contrary, what you hate about yourself?
my "shyness". when i dont talk at gatherings or parties (not that i dont like you or the party), it's because i dunno what to say.

#15 The most ideal person you want to be is?
i guess it's a mixture between my sis and my godma. there must be 876234567 people out there i want to be but i cant remember off hand right now.

#16 For people that care and like you, say smth to them?
i love you and thank you =)

#17 Pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wished to know how they feel about you.
Pass to people with blogs only.
1. Gracey
2. Tash
3. Gwen
4. Shainz
5. Xiu Rong
6. Hanson
7. Belinda
8. Kina
9. Hina
10.Denise

#18 Who is no.6 having relationship with?
no one

#19 Is no.9 a male or female?
femme

#20 If 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
NO. nononononononono....

#21 What is no. 2 studying about?
Fashion Merchandsing and Marketing

#22 When was the last time you had a chat with no. 3?
a loooong time ago. early oct i think?

#23 What kind of music band does no. 8 like?
smexy indie-punk boy bands

#24 Does no. 1 has any siblings?
yups. younger sis

#25 Will you woo no. 3?
no. HAHAA.. how weird

#26 How abt no. 7?
tsk. naaaah...

#27 Is no. 4 single?
uh huh

#28 Whats the surname of no. 5?
HO! LIKE ME! HENG WORHX! lucky i know her man....

#29 Whats the hobby of no. 10?
erm... she has tonnes? one of them is cosplaying and another is dancing.

#30 Does no. 5 and 9 get along well?
together? dunno.

#31 Where is no. 2 studying at?
NAFA

#32 Talk something casually about no. 1
she is true to her name. i like how gentle but yet how sadisticc she is. HOHOHOHO!

#33 Have you tried developing feelings for no. 6?
tried developing?? EEER.... nnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyynnnnnno

#34 Where does no. 9 lives?
DIE! I FORGOT!!!! east or west.

#35 What colour does no. 4 like?
darn... EEEERM, if she hasnt changed it, brown-ish orange yellow tones.

#36 Are no. 5 and 1 best friends?
no. they dunno each other

#37 Does no. 1 have any pets?
yeah.

#38 Is no. 7 th sexiest person in the world?
nope (sorry dear, i compared you with johnny depp and angelina jolie)

#39 What is no. 6 doing now?
i think he's at camp.

=Christmas=

2008-12-24T14:02:00.005+08:00

hey guys, its been a while.

have been carolling these past few days and its taken a toll on my health. i've got a cough, dry throat, strained voice, flu, stuffed nose, a slight fever and that god damned feeling of having your muscles weakened =(

it doesnt really feell like christmas. Le Siiiiiggh~

oh btw, 8D

YES, I CUT MY HAIR!!!! WHOOHOOO! AND I LOVE IT!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

= maybe i should just...=

2008-12-18T01:05:00.000+08:00

...DISAPPEAR...

well, two reactions you.
1) you'd make sure i dont disappear without rhyme or reason, and stay appear (lol).
2) you'd think i was kidding and cant be bothered to do anything.

just how many of you would just do what #2 says? well, i don;t really care which you do; it just tells me what kind of person you really are.

. . . .

got this off some book i read btw. but seriously, it strike a chord in me. and it really got me thinking, just who thinks of you.

are you forgotten?
have someone thought about you?
are you thinking of someone?

nah, dont worry, i havent forgotten about you =)

=song to sing=

2008-12-03T22:52:00.000+08:00

i miss my mp3 player. i mean i do have one. but the sound system's cracked and i cant listen to it anymore. sigh. i miss having to listening music anytime and anywhere. i hate this life im leading now, but i have to trudge through it. to that light in the end of this dark tunnel.

i want so much - physically, emotionally, materialistically. and i have good as nothing (but i have god!). human as i am, greed pulls you away from your secruity. what a sin. how tempting.

I WANT MY MUSIC!!!!! OMG!! DAMMIT!!! ARGH!

jo, you asked "i wonder if we should live life the right way, according to all the rules or live it happily?" well, i think i have found the ans during my camp. in this world, there is no definite right. some say it's not right to eat meat. some it's not right to marry your relatives.
Live life the way you want to live it. Preferrably with a smile, and very importantly, with God in your heart.

it isnt easy to do that, i know. but if we all take it one step at a time...

=stayover=

2008-12-03T12:38:00.000+08:00

hey guys! so i;ve been back from a church camp. and i;ve never felt so frikking tired after a camp EVER! goodness!! it wasnt as good the previous one, but better than i expected nonetheless =)
sad to say, after the camp, i'm still undecided about my future. good lord, this sucks.

i had carolling on sunday in conjunction with my camp. so i had to leave camp at 12nn for carolling and and come back to camp at 8pm. it tired me out really. veryvery exhausting. but it was still a great experience nonetheless. we went carolling at st regis hotel, and i tell you! that place, wasnt as good as expected. service, impeccable. food, good. decorations, ok. interior design, inferior. man, you guys! you shouldve come to st regis that day. i think it was only that one day they let outsiders in. *shrugs*

the day we started carolling is the day christmas started. and,

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true...
All I want for Christmas is
Yooooouuuu

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I don't need to hang my stocking
There upon the fireplace
Santa Claus won't make me happy
With a toy on Christmas day
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you

Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
I'm just gonna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
I won't make a list and send it
To the North Pole for Saint Nick
I won't even stay awake to
Hear those magic reindeer click
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas is you
You baby!

Oh all the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
And the sound of children's
Laughter fills the air (laghter fills the air)
And everyone is singing (oh yeah)
I hear those sleigh bells ringing
Santa won't you bring me the one I really need
won't you please bring my baby to me

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas
This is all I'm asking for (askin for)
I just want to see my baby
Standing right outside my door
Oh I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
Baby all I want for Christmas is
YOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!

and you, and you, and you, and you

All I want for Christmas...

=Keep ya Love Locked Down=

2008-11-18T00:10:00.000+08:00

so kanye came up with another great song. Love Lockdown.
i was watching ellen when i heard this song. wasnt the first time though, but got me hooked. she got hooked listening to it, and so did i.
hart the drums.

~

I'm in love with you, the way I wanted to
What I had to do, had to run from you
I'm in love with you but the vibe is wrong
And that haunted me, all the way home
So you never know, never never know,
Never know enough, 'til it's over love
'Til we lose control, system overload
Screamin' No! No! No! N-No!

I'm in love with you, the way I wanted to
See I wanna move, but can't escape from you
So I keep it low, keep a secret code
So everybody else don't have to know

So keep your love locked down
Your love locked down
So keep your love locked down
Your love locked down
So keep your love locked down
Your love locked down
Now keep your love locked down
You lose

I'm not lovin' you the way I wanted to
I can't keep my cool, so I keep it true
I got somethin to lose, so I gotta move
I can't keep myself, and still keep you too
So I keep in mind, when I'm on my own
Somewhere far from home, in the danger zone
How many times did I tell ya before I finally got through
You lose, you lose

I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to
See I had to go, see I had to move
No more wastin' time, you can't wait for life
We're just wastin' time, where's the finish line
So keep your love locked down
Your love locked down
Keepin' your love locked down
Your love locked down
Now keep your love locked down
Your love locked down
Keep Your love locked down
You lose

I'm not lovin you, the way I wanted to
I bet no one knew, I got no one new
I know I said I'm through, but got love for you
But I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to
Gotta keep it goin', keep the lovin' goin'
Keep it on a roll, only God knows
If I be with you, baby I'm confused
You choose, you choose

I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to
Where I wanna go, I don't need you
I've been down this road, too many times before
I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to
So keep your love locked down
Your love locked down
Keepin' your love locked down
Your love locked down
Now keep your love locked down
Your love locked down
Keepin' your love locked down
You lose, you lose
You lose, you lose
You lose

=new pathway=

2008-11-10T00:23:00.001+08:00

i STILL have not decided what i wanna do in my life for now, or ever. i hate being so stuck. ugh. so after having a lil chat with gen, i came up with a small list of what i might wanna do for the rest of my life and never grow tired of it.

1) Private Investigator - very interesting and very on the roll IF YOU WERE IN AMERICA. nothing ever happens in singapore, i swear! people here are soooo boring. though i could always give it try. it's different, on the roll and most of all it's kaleidoscopic tasks are so very attractive for a person like moi. BUT they say i need to own a vehicle. i dont. D= ROAR

2) Psychologist - i feel like my destiny for my being is to help people. i absolutely CANNOT stand people suffering. it just breaks my heart and i can never be able to anything about it; so i ignore it and pretend it doesnt exist. BUT i can always help bby giving you a listening ear. always have been since birth! haha! i may even help you. but doncha think i need help first? before i help others?

3) Producer - i love tv. i was born in front of the tv. i grew up with tv. tv taught me to speak. tv taught me to read. tv taught me my ABCs. tv brought my the arts. tv, tv, tv. my WHOLE world revolved tv. soooo, since being a couch potato doesnt pay, then a producer (or SOMEthing along that line) will do.

4) Interior Designer - its fun watching debbie travis do facelifts. very cool. very interesting. and i'ma gonna have do to one too! my room!! whoots! it'll almost be like fashion, but 65% less bitch. the other 35% are unreasonable customers, bosses, and suppliers.

5) Cameraman for National Geographic / lonely planet - travel around the world, check. explore the earth inside out, check. excrutiating adventures, check. 8D

help me? and dont even think of mentioning fashion PLEASE. 'just these 5 first. THEN we talk fashion. aaaaaah~! LOL give me your comments pleeeeeaaase? i neeeeed them.

love ya!

=acoustics=

2008-11-10T00:16:00.001+08:00

this is kina grannis. she sings. and boy can she SING! whoohoo! this is her acoustic cover for Rihanna's Disturbia. kinda cool =) enjoy!

=?=

2008-10-31T23:49:00.000+08:00

A word.
A world.

A change.
The derranged.

I thought I knew it all;
I thought I didn't at all.

If only life came with a manual,
To refer to in times of peril.

Dicriminate;
Hypocrite.

A rock,
A movement;
A contridiction

-End- 30th March 2007, Friday, 11:15pm (c)

= dunno =

2008-10-31T22:27:00.000+08:00

im still very undecided.

i wish i can just disappear into another better world and start all over.

i wish i can just disapperate.

i wish i can just VANISH. you're all too busy to notice anyways. and when you do, i'll be gone.

i wont kill myself la! please.

i, i, i, i, it's all about this very thin and narrow little vowel.

i wish, i wish upon a shooting star, once upon time.

wake up.

*

it starts with if-
if only;
if there was a ship i could captain,
i would sail it far away in the high seas.

if it goes as far as my imagination brings me,
take me to that ship.

if i had wings i fly with,
i'd fly so far and wide.

if i had a temper of cotton candy,
i wouldnt be venting.

if had someone to hold my hand,
i wouldn't be floating so very aimlessly.

if i had parents in the prural who cares,
i wouldnt be in this of utter distress and mess.

just if only;
always if only;
ends with If Only

=its a hard word to say =

2008-10-25T12:39:00.000+08:00

sorry.

sorry to my classmates for letting you down. i know we all agreed to be like the musketeers (Lols) and strive until the very end. i have doubts. many. as you can see below. and i know you have doubts yourselves too. and you chose to carry on strongly. i really do envy and praise you for it. dont be like me and give up.
i know i've somehow become your (in prural cause im talking to all of you) pillar of hope and strength. thank you so much for that. but i guess you made a slight mistake and leaned on my weak side ^^". i needed a pillar, but it was so hard to find a good pillar. i mean i like your pillars! but it's just not good enough. you know? it's like being hungry and being offered an apple. nothing wrong with the apple, its just that im hungry. seriously. hungry as in "i can eat 10 horses" hungry. i need to have all nutrients. fibre, protien, carbs, vitamins, etcetc...

so yeah.... but anyways, tghis isnt about me. it's about YOU. =)

sorry and thank you so much.

i'll keep in touch with y'all. tell you my final decision. it'll most probably be last minute . heh ^^ll

=confusion=

2008-10-25T12:17:00.000+08:00

dammit.

i wanna quit school;

i wanna defer from school;

i hate school;

school is what made me;

i hate me for being this way;

i love school for making me this so;

i dun wanna quit school;

should i defer?

my dad wont be giving me anymore allowances for ever and ever amen;

i dont have the money to support me and schoolwork;

i should go work;

i might not want to go back to school;

i'll waste all effort and money i have gone thru the 1.75years;

i wanna quit school.

i should get a diploma;

i shouldn't disappoint my family;

i hate school for making me see the world so stupidly superficially;

i love school for cultivating guts and confidence;

i hate school for being so momey orientated;

i love school for its passionate desposition;

i hate electives we have to pay for, which we dont have to;

i love school for bringing in electives,

i hate school for bringing in electives like we have way too much time in our hands.

i dont wanna quit nor defer,

i'll miss you guys too much

and i dont wanna be alone AGAIN.

i dont know why i chose this course;

though i do thank it for opening my eyes and teaching me new skills.

i wanna kill this course for capitalising, bolding and enlarging the 'B' in bitch;

i wanna kill this course for capitalising, bolding and enlarging the 'S' in superficial.

i wanna quit school.

i dont wanna quit nor defer cause this is the path i chose and should stick to it.

my family is counting on a artist in the family *rolls eyes*;

i hate all of these stupid "Great Expectations";

i never had them for 17 years of my life and now they want them?!

i dont wanna quit nor defer cause this is the path i chose and should stick to it.

i dont have the money to stick onto it any longer.

AAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!! WTF!!! oAo

=of all things...=

2008-10-16T11:27:00.000+08:00

you know, of ALL things to happen, it happens now. everything just didnt go right. now, i'm not being selfish thinking "why dont things go MY way huh? MY way?". nope. its just that its going someone else's way, and i dont like that person. something to that effect... now after all that blabbling, you are still wondering what the hell happened now yeah?

i've decided to leave Fashion Merchandising and Marketing Year2, Sem1 behind and take a break. no matter what i do, i get into a dead end that just wont budge no matter how hard i try. so it's no use discouraging my decision, cause its final. it's final and it'll never change. and i cant in any case. i dont have cash in my ez link, in my wallet, in my bank, and i;ve yet to pay my handphone bills which have been overdue for 4 months. so now there isnt any incoming or outgoing calls or sms-es for me. it's such a pity i have to leave everything i did for the fist term behind and obtain that straight Fs, but it's my decision and it's my consequence i have to face.

i've made some very bad choices in life and these choices are sticking to me long term haunting me everyday. it's terrifying for someone like me.
1) i chose to study fashion when i'm only very mildy interested in it. i specifically told myself that i will NEVER EVER EVER get into fashion, only because i'm just not cut out for it (see? im running already)
2) i took up an expensive and very unnecessary membership for yoga. if i wanna stay fit, i can run for free, with my dog, at my void deck and neighbourhood. stupid. me.

i'm terribly sorry if i had let anyone down. i just cant take it anymore. i'm seeing things so much clearer and i dont see myself as this fashionista person thing. it's just not me. it never has, it never will. though i WILL have to finish my diploma course for the sake of my parents.

you know you will always have my back no matter how stressed i am. i just dont know if i can say the same.

i time to recuperate and think things through. i dont want this to happen either. i dont want to give up just like that. but i have no other choice. you can scold me, you can gossip about me, you can look down on me, you can even leave me, but let me tell you this: I DO NOT CARE. if my life is lead by gossips and other frivilous and superflouous things, then you have finalised my decision. i dont want to be related to fashion ever. PLUS, it just reflects on the kind of peron you are. though thank you so much for the experience though xD

i want to do something meaningful you see. something that makes people truly happy and clothes, no, they are just exploitations of the simple form of decency. teacher, community worker, marine biologist and so on and so forth... ARGH! watever, i see you doubting me. go away! *storms out, slams door*

=stained radiance=

2008-10-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

and that's the title i came up with, 3mins ago, for my theme's collection. i was supposed to hand in pd tod- um, ytd, but something happened. i dunno why it happened, but i fucking hell did ok.

i was doing me technical flats digitally (because its neater, DUH). it was my most difficult outfit and most tedious cause i had inner, outer, and bottom. that was DANDY with me. it was only 11am and work is due at 5pm. so i had alot of time. 2.5hours later, just as i was about to draw the very last stitch line, IT FUCKING HUNG ON ME. *&^%$#$%^&*!!!!!! i stayed like that for another hour and wouldnt budge. so, is this s sign or what? if it is, I CANT READ IT!!!!

so i lost interest in doing anything else as i was fuming mad and just fed up about everything. didnt do anything, didnt go to school, didnt really talk to anyone. thank god edna (NON SCHOOL RELATED) called. sigh.... now im suffering again cause i frikking chose not to do anything. and i have a full day ahead. with 987654321234567898765432123456789 things to do. F***. macromedia freehand HAD BETTER NOT HANG ON ME!!!

ps: i called michelle to tell angelynn that i couldnt pass everything up today. F***ed up day. ugh-

=white christmas=

2008-09-25T11:55:00.000+08:00

i have been wasting my last two weeks away. i hate rushing to complete my work. and i have doing exactly that.

merchandising maths: 1 day late
research: no picture
pattern making: no file, completed in class
advertising: just started the ball rolling
pd: no flats, no illustrations, no boards

ARGH!

and i'm such a holiday mood. since the beginning of the year!!!

ARGH!!

"what holiday?" you might ask. it's CHRISTMAS!!! OMG! I SO TOTALLY CRAVING FOR A WHITE CHRITMAS!!! WHEN I SEE YOU AGAIN??? =(

if i had $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 , i'll bring you along with me. but i dont.
on a side note, christmas is my favourite time of year. not because of presents, but because of the spirit. its such a feel good time. and i really really wish i can experience that soon =')

=Wah-all eee=

2008-09-13T00:07:00.002+08:00

i've gotta give it to disney. time and again, they never fail live up to their expectations. or even beyond that. if you manage cry or remember everyword to the theme song everytime you watch a disney movie, you know they done it yet again.

well, so what's it about? wall.e is a frikkin robot with emotions. I MEAN LIKE CMON!!! but its so touching *sniff*~ and because he has emotions, so does every other robot.

i love the way he introduces himself.
*sticks hand out* "wah-aalll eeee"
and the way the people are so friendly. (definitely not the way the are so fat and rolly polly. uber scary the way disney portrayed humans in the future)

i love they way eve/eva says wall.e when she's fed up. and the way she ignored him when she was angry at him for losing the plant.

and i cried buckets at the last part when eve/eva thought wall.e was gone forever and would forget her. but when, in the end he didnt, i CRIED AGAIN DAMMIT!!! *SNIFF* but dont you think wall.e resembles E.T. a tiny bit? the posters i mean. E.T. GO HOOOOME~! hahahhaha!

wall.e is a movie that all MUST see. just like Happy Feet, it showcases what damge mankind is doing to the earth.

what are YOU doing to save the earth?

=aguilera=

2008-09-12T11:51:00.000+08:00

just saw this in tash's blog:

totally love her new look. though i think her eyes disappeared somewhere beneath the eyeliner. LOL! nothing against it though! just musing... BUT!!! but! what is THAT????

can someone enlighten me??

=clifford's puppy days=

2008-09-12T09:33:00.000+08:00

omgomgomgomg!!! hahahaha! yeah, i have been watching morning cartoons xD i'm so in love with clifford's puppy cuteness. maaaan, i wish our world is just as innocent as theirs~ siiiiigggh =w=

here's the opening song's lyircs:

One puppy two Puppy on a Bed
The littlest one has fur that's red

I'm kind of new
So I'll stick with you
I like new places
Seeing lots of new faces
And before this day's through
We'll make good friends like you

Three puppy four puppy five puppy six
Clifford is up to brand new tricks

I might be small
But I'm on the ball
I might be little
I might get stuck in the middle
But there's one thing we know
Love makes little things grow

Yea,love makes little things grow

=raincheck=

2008-09-06T21:36:00.000+08:00

Today there shall be heavy showers in the south of Singapore. With cold winds and blinding lightning streaking across the sky.

i miss this kinda weather. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU FOR FINDING YOUR WAY BACK!! *hartsful* it kindsa reminds me of being in england. or at least how i IMAGINED it to be. how loserville am i? ahahahahah! xD but i don t care man! i love it, i love it, i love it, i love it. and i love imagining stuff. makes me think creatively, dontcha think? =)

i miss so many things i have to leave behind.
harry potter
japan
writing stories
roleplaying
snow
the english accent
relaxing
laughing till my cheeks and stomach hurts
day dreaming about flying
dreaming about flying
remembering vivid fun harry potter related dreams

=shoes=

2008-08-30T22:04:00.000+08:00

I FINALLY GOT THEM!!! I FINALY GOT THEM!!! I'M SO FRIKKING EXCITED CAN!!!! HOMG!!!

now, before you ask yourself, "what is it???!?!" here are what i FINALLY GOT!!!

they are a lil tight. damn these big feet of mine. but they ROCK SO MUCH. like literally! hahaha! i cant seem to feel the floor or anything i step on. its so thick! and i dunno how to tie lei... HAHHA!

i got the picture off the internet. my ribbons starts from the sides, and are in leather.

i'll wear them on monday! *harts*

and gracey, a promise is a promise! the shoes shall be lent to you!

underoneconditioninwhichyouhavetobuymeadaysworthofluncheverytimeyouborrowthem

BUAHAHHAHAHAHA!

=roar=

2008-08-28T11:29:00.000+08:00

i still cant accept the fact we were seperated cruelly. yes, i think its a cruel act. it's helping NOT ONE SOUL. especially the 2B1 class.

i can only wish that we never got seperated. we all need the support we need and seriously, i dont see it. we all live in our own world. [thank you michelle though. you are my support.]

i feel useless when i cant help. i feel helpless when i cant help. but at least i have god by my side.

grace & jo, i know you are struggling. dont think of it as an obstacle you cant face. think of it as a challenge that tests the best your abilities. or think of it as you doing a P6 English paper.

=birth=

2008-08-28T11:18:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO EDDIE NANA!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUU!!!!

sorry to hear that your sick=( it's sucks big time. especially on your 21st.
we'll celebrate it eventually, even if it's 10 years from now. and we'll pretend it IS your 21st. feel young again, do let's.

=timely decisions=

2008-08-28T10:52:00.000+08:00

hey you,

i know i havent been blogging lately. my excuse: school and slow internet connection.

as you would know, i have electives now. like out of the blue, they decided we dont hav enough inn our hands. AND the pattern making* lecturer is making us do homework. that means we have to bring home pieces of paper bigger than or 2-3x AO and sprawl it over the floor and hopefully finish it at home. IMPOSSIBLE!

but whatever it is, you know what? I HAVE GOD AT BY MY SIDE AND THERE IS NOTHING^ I CAN'T CONQUER. do you? so what if there are freaking electives and sadistic pattern making lecturers?

i needed strength to continue with school.
i needed a job.
i needed to find you.
you came to me when i needed you.

thank you so very much.

*for all those who dont know what pattern making is, its the term used to describe the process of drafting patterns of clothes before it needs to be sewn.
^ ok, maybe except, right now, william and debra. MAYBE. i'll find the strength one day soon=)
` aka pattern making lecturer.

=Take it One Step At A Time=

2008-08-28T10:45:00.000+08:00

i fell in love with this song when i heard the intro. it felt so me. if you know me well enough, you'd know =).

I dedicate this song to

Shainz

Gracey

Tash

cause

To take one step at a time; there's no need to rush. It's like learning to fly, or falling in love. It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen, and we find the reasons why.

da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da
da da da um da da
da da da ba um da da

You believe, and you doubt
You're confused, and got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

HOOK
You wanna show the world but no one knows yours name yet
Wonderin' when, where and how you're going to make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face and the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you getting all kinda impatient
Waiting, we live and we learn

CHORUS
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer (you can't wait)
But there's no end in time (when you need to find the strength)
It's your faith that makes you stronger (the only way we get there)
The only way we get there
Is one step at a time

To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love (Falling in love)
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time

=Beautiful World=

2008-08-12T17:47:00.000+08:00

it's been sometime since i listened to utada. so when i finally decided to, i fell in love with this song.

-
It's only love
It's only love

Moshimo negai hitotsu dake kanau nara
Kimi no soba de nemurasete
Donna basho demo ii yo
Beautiful World
Mayowazu kimi dake wo mitsumeteiru
Beautiful Boy
Jibun no utsukushisa mada shiranai no

It's only love

Nete mo samete mo shounen manga
Yume mite bakka
Jibun ga suki ja nai no

Nani ga hoshii ka wakaranakute
Tada hoshigatte
Nurui namida ga hoo wo tsutau

Iitai koto nante nai
Tada mou ichido aitai
Iitai koto ienai
Konjou nashi kamoshirenai
Sore de ii kedo

Moshimo negai hitotsu dake kanau nara
Kimi no soba de nemurasete
Donna basho de mo ii yo
Beautiful World
Mayowazu kimi dake wo mitsumeteiru
Beautiful Boy
Jibun no utsukushisa mada shiranai no

It's only love

Donna koto demo yattemite
Son wo shitatte sukoshi keikenchi ageru

Shinbun nanka iranai
Kanjin na koto ga nottenai
Saikin choushi doudai?
Genki ni shiteru nara
Betsuni ii kedo

Boku no sekai kieru made aenu nara
Kimi no soba de nemurasete
Donna basho demo kekkou
Beautiful World
Hakanaku sugite yuku hibi no naka de
Beautiful Boy
Kibun no mura wa shikatanai ne

Moshimo negai hitotsu dake kanau nara
Kimi no soba de nemurasete

It's only love
-

thanks for the album intro jo! *harts!*
ps: this song was Neon Genesis Evangelion: You Are [Not] Alone's opening

=Singfest 2008=

2008-08-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

hey guys! i know it's been like a month since i last posted. sorry! busybusybusy! plus lazy too. hehe =x
so i know you have been asking WAZZZAAA ~~???! so here's my ans:
.
.
.
Okie, lets start off with the weather shall we? it was HOT. HOTHOTHOTSCORCHINGHOTHOTDAMMITHOTFUCKITHOTHOTHOT.
so whilst lining up, celia took out her VERY colourful brolly. picture credits: moi

.
.
.
moi, celia and tash lining up. picture creidts: random person in line.

.
.
.
this was the line! lots and lots of peole! but this isn the end of it! people still started to stream in even after the show started

.
.
.
WE'RE IN! but we frikkin had to WAIT EVEN MORE =w=
me trying to act skinny. HAHHAA! futile attempt~

.
.
.
now THIS my friends is the area we were kept in for an hour before we could actually get to...

.
.
.
the main area, which are behind those doors. tash has these pic cause he went looking for the toilet. and he so happened to see this! lucky him=)

.
.
.
view of the stage from where we were. we were at the 1/4 mark of the field. though í would lovet to have been in front a little more.

.
.
.
view behind us. dont be fooled by the spaces and vastness of the place. by 4 it was CRAMPED with people. there were on the stairs, and on the 1st level of the building.

.
.
.
STACIE ORICO~! she looks HAWT doesnt she? =3 ok, you cant see it here. haha!

.
.
.
JAMIE SCOTT TEH HOTTIE!!! HOMG!!! the english hottness *drools*
may i remind you that it was SCORCHING. and all performers were sweating. i dont have panic at the disco's pics, but the front man's shirt was wet THRU. LOL!

.
.
.
ONE REPUBLIC! who hit every note with grace and charm. and i had goose bumps listening to him. HOMG. sorry guys! thats all the pictures i have of one republic.

.
.
.
JASON MRAZ!!!!!! HOMG!!! charming, musical hotness. homghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomghomg LURVE EU!! everyone went delirious when he sung I'm Yours. *dreamy*

.
.
.
see gracey!! he has the same hat as you!!!

.
.
.
THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS! they did do a good performance. but they cant sing. nicole sounded squeaky and one of them screeched and i thought my ear drums burst. but they sure can shake booty! no body moved i tell ya. everyone kept still, either taping, taking pics or didnt want to be compared to them. LOL!!! and all the hentai jijis backstage ALL came out and crowded at the dj area left to the stage.

.
.
.
and last and definately NEVER least, ALICIA KEYS!!!! i must say that she did do a reallyreally veryveryvery good performance. but too bad i'm not a alicia keys fan. so all i knew was Falling and No One. she had 3 mini intervals. and ended off with an unforgettable No One.
"oh oh oh oh oh. oh oh oh oh oh. oh oh oh oh OH oh OH oh OH oh OOOH!" till she was long gone and her back up singers took charge to end everything. her back ups, btw, were incredible.

=anna tsuchiya=

2008-07-14T11:51:00.001+08:00

you know how much jo luuurrves ayumi? haha~! it's the same for me for anna. almost the same. i've yet to buy her album. $$$$ you see xD
i hart her so much. *melts*

this is a short clip of her first live tour around japan + backstage

**~~**--**~~**--

Anna for Baby G. gotta love her chameleon-ess. i mean you wouldnt expect the Queen of punk rock to be THIS versatile. but she the queen no less! *hartharthartharthartharthart*

**~~**--**~~**--

Shake that Naughty Body

video montage of anna. gotta love her style

Lady Gaga

2008-07-14T10:37:00.000+08:00

she performed at the Miss Universe 2008. wearing Maison Martin Margiela Autumn/Winter 2007/2008

-picture coming soon-

and singing this: JUST DANCE

btw, the winner's Venezuela again.

=WTF!! =

2008-07-08T14:51:00.001+08:00

for the Potter fandom fans. it's a lil RonxHarry.

Quote (CoS, pg 200):
"Instead he contented himself with scrawling a note to Ron: 'Let's do it tonight'.

Ron read the message, swallowed hard and looked sideways at the empty seat usually filled by Hermione. The sight seemed to stiffen his resolve, and he nodded. "

LIKE WTFH CAN!! "LET'S DO IT TONIGHT" ???!?!? HOW HOMO CAN YOU GET HARRY!! >A> no wonder they think you're ghey dear... AHHAHAHA!! xD kidding!

hope you enjoyed that 5 sec of homo spark, you know who you are (suki and cherie)*shamelesssss*